I was born in Boise, Idaho, on March 27th, 1982. Boring, I know. My sister, Jaime, named me after our next door neighbor's weiner dog. I knew from a very early age that my sister and I were not going to get along. I spent much of my youth running around in circles burning energy and occasionally I would light my carpet on fire. My babysitter Harriet once pushed me into a pile of poop that she left on our livingroom floor and my sister pointed and laughed. Once, my sister let me sleep in her room, but not before making me chant worship prayers to her Yvonne Goolagong tennis raquet...after that she let me sleep at the foot of her bed like a dog (sweet dreams). When my sister broke into our elementary school to steal silly putty, she took me with her and I got in trouble too. I vividly remember being on my knees at the top of the stairs begging Jaime to let me hang out in her room. I got sent to mine. I've been through all of her boyfriends; I get the same letter from each one stating their absolute love and devotion to her (why do you keep doing this to me). I was there when Jaime lied about the pterodactyl in our backyard (she still thinks it was real). I remember feeling slightly amused when she woke up next to her dead cat, Sam, or when my mom would slap her.

So here I am over fifteen years later...As you've probably guessed, not much has changed. Jaime and I live together, write music together and all in all we're having good times, just like always. Somewhere along the way, I guess she realized no one else liked her...I take some satisfaction in the justice of it all. Lastly, I have a cold right now...and I secretly hope she gets it.

JAIME'S BIO ......................................................................................................................................................................................

I was born in Boise, Idaho, on February 30th, 1978. Fascinating, right? I was living life to the fullest
until I was about 3 and a half. That's when my brother came along and stole my thunder. I spent most of my youth trying to get the popular kids to notice me. I would achieve this by eating worms and stealing silly putty. It eventually worked and I achieved uber popularity status. Rocky would beg me to hang out with him. I dreaded Thursday nights at our house because that was "pork chop" night. Friday nights were cool though, that was frozen cheap ass pizza night.

Once, I was playing in the back yard with Rocky and this huge pterodactyl swooped down and tried to attack us. If I wouldnt have pushed Rocky off the swing, and face down into the dirt, I am confident the pterodactyl would have carried him away, probably to feed her young. Rocky always caused problems growing up, and because I loved him so much, I would always cover for him and take the beating.

Here I am, over fifteen years later...as you can tell I have matured greatly whereas Rocky has not. Rocky and I live together, work on music together, and continue to create unforgettable memories together. Somewhere along the the timeline of my life, I realized I am still uber popular, although none of my"friends" ever answer my phone calls, and they are always too busy to hang out with me.

I should probably end this here. I think I feel a cold coming on.